Roses Sold Out? Try These.

Jasper pulled up his motorcycle at the florist. It was very late on the day before Valentine’s Day, and he needed a bouquet. He’d already bought a bottle of absinthe, because she had wanted to taste it ever since she saw it being made on Moonshiners. However, the search for absinthe had taken most of the afternoon, and now the florist was just changing the sign on his door from “Open” to “Closed.”

Jasper waved frantically, and the florist, used to desperate men, waved back and opened the door. “I’m all sold out of blossoms,” he told Jasper. “I just have a few stems of nice ferns.”

“Can you use the ferns to gussy up this bottle of absinthe?” Jasper asked.

“Sure,” said the florist. And, with the feathery fern fronds, a gorgeous ribbon, and a pretty gift card, he made a lovely gift presentation.

Jasper’s wife Hortense had a romantic candle-lit dinner prepared, and the couple enjoyed it thoroughly. After dinner, Jasper presented his gift.

Hortense read the gift card, “Absinthe makes the heart go fonder.” She gazed into Jasper’s eyes and said softly, “Yes, and with fronds like these, who needs anemones?”