Kiss & Tell!

Motorcycle enthusiast Evelyn Poppins tried her hand at gardening. When fall came, she found that her carrots, onions, potatoes, beans had all failed. The only successful crop she has was cauliflower. She picked them and cooked one to have with a delicious cheese sauce.

The cauliflower and cheese combo was so good she ate it for a week straight. Two things happened: her lips looked full, glossy, and pouty without even a dab of lip gloss, and her breath smelled so bad even her dog wouldn’t come near her.

She contacted one of the major cosmetic manufacturers and told them how her cauliflower crop had beautified her lips. “I don’t know whether it’s something in the soil or something I did while raising them, but these are special cauliflowers,” she told the company.

“Well, Ms. Poppins, we will buy some for testing and put an option on the rest.”

“Will you name your new lipstick after me.” Evelyn asked.

“If your cauliflower does everything you say it will, we certainly will include your name in the product title.”

Once the company found that just the tiniest bit of Evelyn’s cauliflower yielded the desired lip enhancements, they bought the rest of her cauliflower and jumped right into production. They hoped to solve the bad breath problem during the manufacturing process. Not only did they fail to solve that problem, but the lipsticks were crumbly.

Still, the advertisements were all over TV and social media. They had to go ahead with the new lipstick. After consulting with the legal department, they put this caution on Poppins’ Lip Beautifier:

Super-cauli, fragile lipstick, expect halitosis